Intro
I built my first website in college.
Way back then regular, very slightly clever people could build websites...and make money from them. It was a miraculous time.
The only people who idealize the past, though, are those that have nothing to appreciate in the present. It still IS a miraculous time and I'm happy to be living through it. Or...in it. I guess it depends how things turn out.
Obviously, fingers crossed that I don't get smoked by a rogue Facebook AI powered Boston Dynamics Canine Terminator on a hunter killer mission to finish off humanity.
Work
I write.
I communicate.
I tell stories. Not because I have a lot to say, but to sell things to people on the computer.
I have picked up something unique from every job I've ever had. For example, I know a surprising amount of Nigerian pidgin for a white guy from the desert (Abeg! Why dey done give me dis wahala!?), I also know why Amazon does that weird thing they do. Email me for details, it's f-ing fascinatng.
My mom tells people I work for the internet. As silly as that sounds, it's as accurate as anything else.
About
It's 2020 and there's nothing more important than putting a lot of personal information about yourself on the internet, so here goes:
- I can ride a motorcycle better than Fonzie.
- When I saw that the Eiffel Tower is actually brown it altered my worldview.
- I've been bitten by a penguin.
- R. Kelly is a better poet than Maya Angelou, I'm sure of it.
- I have saved three peoples' lives. None of them were grateful. I mean, honestly, a plate of cookies would suffice.
- I'm never, ever sick at sea.
- I miss Dolores O'Riordan, even today our thoughts are with the faithful Departed.